Pub, Guinness, Brewery, Teaches

 

We are known to be fond of a drink and to able to party with the best of them, even though this might be a stereotype it still holds true for the most part. First and foremost when I say “party” I mean have a good time with friends and family, I don’t mean getting fall down drunk and making a show of yourself.

It’s important to know the occasion that brings about the party, be it a wedding, a funeral and anything else in between  it is an opportunity to come together and enjoy one another’s company in the comfort of a safe and friendly environment. Once the occasion has been established don’t just turn up, but plan how you are going to turn up, are you looking to stand out or fit in? For the most part we like to stand out from the masses but fit in within our core group, this way we can get on with the task at hand which is enjoying the company we are in.

"Take it easy" The Eagles

To party like an Irish person think marathon rather than a sprint so once you have your wardrobe down, occasion set and group arranged it’s time to get to work. I use the word work on purpose because it can go on a lot longer than the average 8 hr. day (with no lunch breaks), even if your intention is to go home in an hour. Word to the wise before we begin its best to stay away from the strong stuff for as long as you can; I’m looking at you 6.5% craft beer drinker, there is no place for you on a session, you are a sprinter, get in, gulp and go home before you throw up and make a holy show of yourself. So know your starting drinks before you go, a little bit of thought before you hit up the pub will help you out here – you can even do a quick internet search on the different alcohol % on your chosen drink before you go, it can be a topic of conversation during the night although I wouldn’t let anyone know that you were actively researching before you came outJ

Pint, Guinness, Bar, Alcohol, Beer, Ale

 

Not for the faint of heart.

It’s a good idea to leave your feelings at the doorstep on your way in because the pub is not a place for the thin skinned. We take our “slagging” very seriously (good natured teasing) the key with slagging is to not take it to heart and not to give it too harshly. It’s a back and forth that good friends should be able to do without upsetting anyone. A good slagging match creates an atmosphere of serious craic (serious fun- an oxymoron I know but go with it). One of the main elements with a good slagging match is to be able to take what you dish out – expect shots to be fired back but if you get thick (mad) the craic (fun) is gone. Don’t take anything too personal, to do so only gives the other person the advantage, if they see that they are getting to you they will not let go.

Watching or being part of a good slagging match is like watching a good boxing match, each opponent wary of the other, starting out with little jabs and dodges, each looking for the killer blow without getting hit square in the jaw themselves. The best of slagging matches go the distance with a split decision at the end then everyone can go on and have fun with a different topic.

 

 

Eating is Cheating

For the most part “eating is cheating “during a good session, as it ruins the flow of the night. With that in mind it’s a good idea to load up on food about an hour before you dig in to the pints. “Line the stomach” so to speak, drinking on an empty stomach is a disaster and will lead to an early tap out on the session. The preferred snacks during the session are Tayto crisps and planters salted peanuts, if they are not available the nearest saltiest silver foil wrapped carb snack will do, there is no evidence that this gives good soakage to the drink but there is also no evidence that it does not. Once the session has ended the hunt for grease begins, if you are drinking in a town or city this should be an easy find, just remember you are entering a well-lit building full of hungry drunken people that have not yet received their food but can smell the greasy goodness so it’s best to either join a sing song or avoid a fight – the chipper is Ireland's version of survivor with a handsome reward of grease at the end.

 

“Begin with the end in mind”

Drink driving is a big no no so plan ahead for the fact that you will need to get home at some point in the night. There is no Uber in Ireland, have a lift ready to call or know your taxi number or where the taxi rank is. Remember at 2 am everybody has the same plan on getting home. Another idea would be to move your night along such a route that you will go from pub to pub and finish on the one closest to your house – with any luck a chipper in betweenJ either way you must keep in mind that you will eventually have to get back home in the next few days – also have cash for your trip home, ask the rough cost before jumping in the taxi and be aware of your surroundings.

 

Drink a massive amount of water before you go to bed, keep a massive amount on your nightstand and wake up to a massive amount of water. The day after a session is never too pretty but remembering the good parts and trying to block out the bad bits is all part of the fun. Go through your phone – note the last interactions with anyone (the pictures should be interesting), pray to God that no exes were contacted at 4 am – if so face into a few hours of severe depression before you come around to see the light. I like to call all my friends really early just to let them know that I am tough and the hangover doesn’t bother me then I turn off my phone and go back to bed for the day safe in the knowledge that I am a legend in my own mind.

 

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Beer, Fresh, Completed, Glass, Foam